"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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