i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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