I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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