I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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