Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
