i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
