things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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