P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
