they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
