Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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