Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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