I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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