I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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