woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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