Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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