I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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