There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
