I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
he puts the penis in happiness.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Dicks are not precious.
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