look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
