You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
