i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
