may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
