Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
