Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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