I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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