so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
