My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
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I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
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I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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