I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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