You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm too high and old for this...
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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