I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
