look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
