Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
