i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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