becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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