I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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