I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
