i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
