White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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