she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
