You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
