i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
People with herpes should wear stickers.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
