yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
