why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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