Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
