If i come over, it means nothing
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
