dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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