u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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