I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
