a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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