oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
