he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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