good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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