One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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