Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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