i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
