i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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