My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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