I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
