i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
