i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
