I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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