Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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