Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
